I hate how much we take our health and lives granted for. Today has been a horrible, tearsoaked, draining day. My beloved Uncle, who I love I so much, has been sick for nearly 30 years, battling AIDS. It was a miracle he has survived this long. My uncle has more heart, spirit, and faith than anyone I have ever know. He is stronger than any sick or healthy person I know.
He recently fell and suffered head trauma and was rushed to the VA hospital. He refuses surgery and signed a DNR and so now I wait for God to take to him to where he belongs: in heaven and in peace. He deserved so much more than life gave him and he kept his faith in Jesus and God even though he suffered so very much over all these years. I am not sad because he is dying, I am sad because he is in a half comatose state where he cannot talk to me and maybe not hear me. I spent the entire day with him; talking, playing music he likes, and crying.I hope he at least makes it through the night and I pray I can hear his wonderful voice once more.
Uncle Ray, I know I will miss you more than life, the strength and spirit you have, the understanding, the advice, and all the love you ever gave to my sister and I. I thank you for every card you sent me, for every call, and for all the fun times we had when you were healthier and I was younger. I thank you for the talent of make-up and acting and I thank you for your advice. I thank you for everything you have given me that you could. I wish I could have returned all that you have given. I hope you will be reunited with my mother, my Lucy bear, your Pookie and Teddy Bear, and Grandma an Grandpa. I will not lie, I am going to be lost for a while without you. I know I will weep the most on Holidays knowing I won't stop by and see your lavishly decorated house. I know I will cry whenever I see a wolf, hear a showtune, or talk about how people should see the Bible. But, when you pass, I know you will be watching over me, just as my mother is, and I will forever be safe. Uncle, I know you will become a Saint, because you have suffered so much, for yourself and others, but your faith never left you.
I love you Uncle Ray.